There is now according to one controversial professor, but you won’t taste it for years
Alcosynth is a new compound specifically designed to mimic all the ‘positive’ effects of alcohol without any of the health hazards.
It has been developed to work on those areas of the brain that are affected by alcohol causing the feelings of wellbeing and happiness, reducing social barriers and inhibitions while enhancing our willingness to participate (if not our ability).
But it avoids the price that usually has to be paid; nausea, dehydration, headache…all the classic hangover symptoms which cost the economy billions of pounds every year in lost productivity.
The developers of the new wonder drink also claim they can ‘cap’ its effects to prevent drinkers becoming too drunk.
They speculate that the effects would plateau after four or five drinks and would not change with further consumption.
Once the drinking was finished, the effects would last three or four hours, just as they do with alcohol.
It could revolutionise the way we socialise and potentially save the health service millions in treating alcohol-related accidents and diseases every year.
Alcohol ranks behind only tobacco and obesity on the list of major dangers to health.
We’d like to be able to reassure you of the safety of the ingredients that go to make up this new compound but the recipe is a closely guarded commercial secret known only to its inventor and the patent office.
Professor David Nutt of Imperial College London has registered over 90 alcosynth compounds.
He is now at the beginning of a long process of testing and research which may take years before a product emerges that is fully approved and licensed for sale to the public.
He suggests that at least two of his patented recipes are already undergoing rigorous clinical testing and might completely replace the alcoholic content of drinks before 2050.
Of course you may decide to take all this with a large pinch of salt to go with your margarita; Professor Nut first came to the media’s attention when he was sacked as the government’s drug tsar in 2009 after claiming that taking ecstasy was no more dangerous than riding a horse.
His parting shot was to publicly rank alcohol as three times more harmful than cannabis.
More recently he compared the restrictions on psychotropic drug research with the Medieval Church’s suppression of Galileo.
Professor Nutt has also proposed giving LSD to terminally ill patients to alleviate the anxiety caused by fear of the unknown and make them feel ‘at one with the universe”.
So it’s clear on which side of the issue the Professor feels more comfortable; that doesn’t mean he’s wrong of course.
I hope we’re all around long enough to find out.
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